The Blorp Throne

The Scoundrel's Warning

• All payments are final. There are no refunds, under any circumstances, for any reason.
• Two scoundrels may race for the throne. If another completes payment before you, you may be dethroned within seconds — or your payment may arrive too late to crown you at all. Either way, the crown keeps your gold.
• The price you lock at checkout may be stale by the time you pay. Pay too little, too late, and you get no crown and no gold back.
• Your reign may last a decade or eleven seconds. The crown makes no promises.
• This is a novelty. It is not an investment, a raffle, or a store. You are buying nothing but the throne, for as long as you can hold it.